Nanaimo bars are the best dessert treat ever to come out of Canada. And in the wrong hands, they can be lethal.

I went to a Quizno’s for dinner tonight, and while mooching around in front of the counter, waiting for the sub to toast, I noticed that they had Nanaimo bars in their dessert counter. What the hell, I decided, and bought one for afters.

Basically, if you’re unfamiliar with the bar, it’s a brownie-like confection with a bottom layer of chocolate-coconut crumble and a middle layer of thick custard topped with a thin covering of melted chocolate.

In the wrong hands, it can be lethal.

I think I mentioned that already. I’m slightly distracted because it feels as though somebody is standing behind me and pushing thick slabs of wet, fudgey icing sugar directly through my temples into my brain.

I’ve eaten an entire can of ham just for the protein, and I’m going to bed now, and I thoroughly expect to have a pounding headache when I wake up tomorrow.

It was worth it.

In other news, my good friends James Bow and Erin Noteboom-Bow have invited a perfect stranger into their home to mooch off them for the next eighteen years. But you probably found me from James’ blog, so you knew that already. Congratulations, and may Vivian prosper and live healthy, happy and well.