Oh just fuck off and die already. When I call up the search function, I want a function that searches. I do not want precious, precious CPU time to be used up by generating an image of a cute little puppy dog who wags his tail and pants and looks at me with those big happy puppy-dog eyes and leaves cute little pawprints on the monitor screen, and who makes that scratchy panting noise through the headphones when I don’t give him something to look for instead of just sitting quietly in the background waiting for me to finish whatever else it is that I’m doing, and who just generally does nothing at all but sit there looking cute and eating up my computer’s memory, which it’s supposed to be using to search through 364 Word documents for the word “chimera.” And I don’t appreciate being made to feel guilty when I tell the cute little puppy dog with the sad little puppy-dog eyes to just fuck off and die already.

God, I’m old.