So that’s it. The International Astronomical Union has now, by vote, officially redefined the official definition of “planet,” and since Pluto isn’t massive enough to clear its orbit of other, smaller objects, it’s out of the club. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune are still planets, but Pluto has been reclassified as “The Judean People’s Front” and its moon Charon has been reclassified as “The People’s Front of Judea.”

I’ve told a few people the news that Pluto is no longer considered a planet, and they’ve all said, “Awwww.”

Yeah yeah yeah, nothing has actually changed except the way we look at things, but changing the way we look at things is one of the biggest changes we can make. When human civilisation is destroyed by a hammer of fire from the sky, it may not matter whether it was classified as a comet or as a fragment of cometary debris; the important thing is that the survivors will know that Thor didn’t do it.

(If there’s a comet or asteroid out there called Thor, please don’t tell me.)

“Where’s Sedna?”
“It’s over there.”
“Splitter!”